Gratitude is Not About Excusing Pain, But Finding the Light

Gratitude journaling is not about forced positivity or ignoring pain. This piece redefines its purpose through everyday experiences—offering a gentler perspective in the midst of stress, and exploring how to create space for emotions within imperfect days.

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閱讀中文版：「感恩日記：不是為了原諒傷害，而是為了看見光」

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Gratitude is Not About Excusing Pain, But Finding the Light

Recently, I came across some discussion about gratitude journal on Threads. 

Some people mentioned that writing a gratitude journal can sometimes feel like a burden - as if we are forced to say, "it is okay, I should be grateful for the people and things that hurt me," even when we are already in discomfort and pain.  It feels as though we are somehow not doing it right if we do not act magnanimously or dig for lessons within our suffering.

If gratitude becomes a way to ignore our wounds;
if journaling becomes nothing more than an exercise in forced positivity,
it can definitely leave us exhausted.

Perhaps, the purpose of a gratitude journal is not to overlook our wounds, nor is it to romanticize malice. 

In life, there are often moments beyond our control: we cannot control weather, unexpected accidents, and the behaviour of others. 

Avoidance may offer temporary relief, but we eventually have to return to reality. 

In the uncontrollable situations, we can still have power to choose, which is the choice of which perspective we stay with. 

If gratitude journaling has a purpose, it is perhaps not about forcibly turning bad things into good, nor about preventing everything is fine. It is about reclaiming agency over our "perspective" amidst chaos and discomfort and creating a safe place to land. 

For example, in the daily life of nursing, there are often moments that are emotionally and physically overwhelming. There are days when patients speak harshly and behave aggressively. Meanwhile, there are critical ill patients require constant care, and so I cannot stop. 

It is hard to call such a day as a good day.

I do not need to feel grateful for the rudeness, nor do I need to convince myself to like the chaos. Nonetheless, I would like to remembered the day as - the colleagues who stepped in to support me and who reached out before I completely drowned.

Perhaps, the patients were not kind on that day, yet the people around me were. 

Maybe, we are not grateful for the entire experience but that one fleeting moments when we feel relieved.

Maybe, the world is not always gentle, but I have met someone who was that day. 

Gratitude journal is not about turning black into white. 

It is simply a reminder for us that even in a life filled with shades of gray, there are still glimmers of life worth recording. 

We  cannot change what happens, 

But we can choose how it may impact us.

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閱讀中文版：「感恩日記：不是為了原諒傷害，而是為了看見光」

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